Business Reflections as a Working Mom of 2

After returning from my second maternity leave I realized it’s time for my annual business reflection! Life and business have changed yet again, and that’s a big theme in this season of life. Speaking of themes, if I had to come up with one for my business right now, it would be something about closeness, peace, acceptance and satisfaction. I’ll explain more!

My Family Has Grown

I had another baby! Wow, going from one to two kids is intense. Especially when your first kid is just shy of 2 years old and still needs you a lot. Not to mention trying to recover from a c-section and being physically limited for many weeks. It was hard. 

I’m five months in now and finally feeling like I’m in a groove with managing both kids and have figured out my strategies for multitasking on a whole new level. It was rough for me in the beginning and my mental health was not great. 

Having a first child is a huge adjustment but I think having a second child may be an even bigger adjustment, for everyone. At least it was in my family!

My girls love each other so much and the love I have for them feels overwhelming at times. Which is why I’m working part-time so that I can maximize my time with them while they’re little and still feel fulfilled in my career and keep my business afloat. 

I know that I am the best mom when I also have time to work. I love spending time with my kids and I also need time to take care of my other needs. Work never felt like a break until I had kids! I feel so lucky to be able to work three days a week and fill that cup and then have four days to focus on my family!

While this “balance” feels as good as it can be, it’s not always easy. It’s hard to not do as much in my business as a part of me wants to. And sometimes I wish I could “just” focus on running my household and not also running a business. But I always come back to the knowing that I need to be both a mother and a practice practice owner for all of my parts to feel fulfilled. It’s a lot but I’ve learned what I need to do on my three days of childcare each week to take care of myself and my business!

My Business Has Shrunk

Sadly I lost my associate dietitian when she recently moved across the country. Her departure lined up with my return from maternity leave. It was a tough loss because she’s been with me since she was a graduate student, and I’ve mentored her for years. It was such a joy to witness her grow in her career and skills as well as her role in my company (she started as volunteer, then I hired her as an assistant, then promoted her to associate dietitian when she became licensed). The good thing is we’re staying in touch and I’m still mentoring her.

My first reaction to hearing that she was moving was panic. I worried about revenue and what would happen to all of her clients, but things have a way of working out. And, I think it was a sign from the universe that I am supposed to be keeping things small right now. In some ways it’s a relief not to have to worry about filling someone else’s caseload, supervising them and writing their paycheck. And, it’s also tough to run a super small business on a part-time basis and cover expenses. Plus, I like having teammates and I truly love supporting other dietitians.

Once my caseload is full, it’s full. I have to refer people out. If and when the right dietitian comes along I may welcome another associate into the practice, but for now I’m back to flying solo! (If you’re an RD reading this and think you’re a good fit, please reach out! I can only hire folks who are residents of and licensed in Illinois).

My First Office Space

For the first time ever, I have my own private office space outside of my home! My home office turned into the new baby’s room so I needed an external space for my counseling sessions and all of my work stuff (it’s not much when you run a virtual business, but there are always files and books and such).

While I’ve always seen clients via telehealth, I also used to see local clients in person when I lived in the city. I rented office space by the hour from another RD and saw my in-person clients there. It was a quick walk from my apartment and the perfect set-up for my hybrid business. 

Since COVID, I’ve been seeing clients exclusively via telehealth with no end in sight. My new office space is small and not conducive for in-person sessions but maybe one day I’ll provide in-person services again!

It’s been a big logistical and emotional adjustment to leave the house for work. I see my kids less, have to lug my breast pump and cooler of breast milk around, and think through and pack all the food and drinks I’ll consume that workday.

It’s also tough financially to pay for office space, an overhead expense I didn’t have previously, especially when I’m only using it three days a week. But, this is what this season of business looks like for me and it is what it is!

In some ways it’s nice to get ready, leave the house and go to work. It’s also hard to walk in the door around 5:30pm to the kids’ dinner/bathtime/bedtime rush and have my toddler lovebomb me when I’m trying to put my pumped milk away and jump right into the nighttime routine. We are so excited to see each other, and I also need to debrief with the nanny and take care of lots of things — it’s a mad dash and I usually don’t get to eat dinner until after the kiddos are asleep.

Ideally I’d have more buffer time between ending work and that chaotic nighttime window every parent is familiar with, but I’m not yet ready to give up my 4pm session spots that are in high demand! I think that whenever I work more days (perhaps when the kids are both in school full-time) that I will reserve one or two nights a week to hold evening sessions and the rest of the days come home with plenty of time to make dinner and eat as a family.

Peace with Counseling

Counseling has always been the main focus of my business because that’s what I love to do, but it’s currently 99% of my time and revenue whereas in the past it was closer to 75-90%. 

A big reason is because that is what brings in the most revenue and another reason is I just don’t have the time or brain energy for much else. 

It’s honestly challenging to even write this post right now; my brain just isn’t in a content producing mode these days! I feel so disorganized with my writing and articulating my thoughts into written word. But counseling comes easily and I find my flow state when I’m working with my clients. I think this has a lot to do with deepening my counseling skills over the last few years and becoming more confident in them. 

I know that my writing chops will come back eventually, my brain is just very taxed right now! And I honestly don’t have the time to allow my creative juices to flow.

The reality is I became a dietitian because I wanted to be a healthcare provider who got to know her patients and help them feel better. All the content creation stuff is a necessity of being a business owner but it’s not at all my passion or even something I feel that skilled with. I’m in awe of those who excel in this area!

When I first started working for myself full-time I didn’t want to do counseling full-time for fear of burnout and because I also liked to do other things, like writing. So I also did consulting, blogging and created an online course.

I remember there was a point in the past when I felt overwhelmed by all of my work commitments and I daydreamt about the simplicity of “just” seeing my clients and calling it a day. Well, I’m there now (mostly). I want to be somewhat active on this blog and I accept some invitations to speak at conferences and on podcasts. But I am no longer pressuring myself to do so much. 

I also am showing up differently on social media. I’ve been off Twitter for a while and I am on Instagram in a way that feels authentic and not planned or scheduled (mostly showing up in stories when I feel like engaging with folks and publishing a feed post here and there). It’s OK that my analytics are probably tanking (I wouldn’t know because I haven’t checked them). I don’t have space in my life for more right now and that’s fine. If I find myself with more time and energy for social media in the future, then I will produce more in those spaces. 

Creating More Space for Motherhood

One thing I’m doing differently as a working mom who breastfeeds is trying to take real breaks for pumping. It doesn’t happen all the time.

With my first, I used pumping breaks as a time to multitask. And, my output showed it. My output wasn’t keeping up with what the baby ate while I was working, which then gave me milk scarcity and caused a whole bunch of stress. It’s a vicious cycle… you need to be relaxed to have a letdown, but you’re not relaxed if you’re worried about not pumping enough milk. 

It was fine, I eventually ended up supplementing with a little formula (Huge relief! Highly recommend if needed!). But I couldn’t help but wonder what was keeping me from pumping enough while I was working.

This time around I aim to look at videos and photos of my kids at least for the first few minutes of pumping, if not the entire time. I really need this to get a letdown and decent output. Sometimes I still throw on the pump and go right to charting or emails or something else; it’s hard to take a legitimate break and it’s something I’m working on!

The downside to taking these breaks is that I can’t multitask and also I end up missing my kids. This isn’t something I’ve ever heard discussed and I think it needs to be. Pumping as a working mom isn’t just hard because of the time and logistics, it’s hard because we can’t ever just be in work mode all day while at work – we have to intentionally go to an emotional place related to our kids in order to express that milk, multiple times during a workday! I have to look at pictures of them and miss them in order for my body to release the hormones that elicit a milk letdown… it’s super fascinating and cool, and also not conducive to a busy workday. I have to then snap back into work mode and cut off that part of me that was missing my kids. It’s wild!

I’m able to do this because I haven’t overextended myself and don’t have to multitask while pumping, though it’s so tempting. I knew coming back to work that I would need to schedule pumping breaks throughout my day and I try not to take on more work than that allows. 

Keeping my Focus Tight

I truly am enjoying how simple work is these days. I’m not comparing my business to others, and I’m relieving myself of the pressure to keep up with all the work-related books, courses, podcasts, trainings, etc.

I receive PubMed alerts to see what new studies are coming out in my practice areas, and I have maintained just a handful of key newsletter subscriptions for high-quality professional content but I don’t even read them all word-for-word.

I am resuming one-on-one clinical supervision and participate in peer groups as my schedule allows. I still have a load of work-related books I want to read, but I know that now just isn’t the time. I’ll read them eventually! Or, maybe not. That’s OK too. 

I feel so much more peace and comfort with slowing down in business right now than I ever have. Maybe it’s because this might be my last baby, and maybe it’s because I have more perspective in both business and life as I get older. I know that my business will be here for me to grow when I want to. Right now, soaking up these precious babies is more important than anything else.

As I wrap up this post and think back to the words I used to describe the theme of business right now, I see a lot of similarities to the important work that I do with my clients on their relationships with food and body. 

When we can close in, narrow our focus to what we need rather than those who are outside our inner circle, and prioritize that which truly matters… we arrive at a place of peace. That doesn’t mean there is no hard work in that place, but it’s more about a kind of work that is so deeply aligned and satisfying that we don’t even have to wonder if we’re doing it “right” or what others will think. Because we know it’s what’s right for us right now, and in maintaining connection with ourselves we trust that we’ll know when we need to make adjustments.

And true to this season of life, it took me several weeks to write and publish this post. If you’re looking to hear from me, the best way to stay in touch is via email and Instagram!